HapPizzazz Blog

The Happizazz Blog is a living blog about living life to it's happiest and pizzazziest!

Here, you will get new information on how to upgrade your love, how to enhance your life, how to refine your light, and how to increase your laughter...which are the ingredients you need to live Happy and Pizzazzy!

Which Post Do You Want to Read?

How to be a Superhero
How, and Why, to Hug
The Curse of Prince Charming
How to SLAP Your Partner

How to SLAP Your Partner

SLAP your partner!

WAIT!!

Please read on before you actually start slapping ANYbody. It might not mean what you think it means.

When you SLAP your significant other, you are treating them with the respect, the love, and all the best qualities you have to offer.

SLAP, in this case, is an acronym.

S = Support
L = Love
A = Accept
P = Protect

SUPPORT

Most people want to be a "somebody." And most people want to be with someone who wants to be a “somebody.” We all have our dreams and aspirations, and whether we’re pursuing them with fervor or we’re just taking it a day at a time, we need someone who believes in us…especially on those days when we don’t believe in ourselves.

I was in a relationship where I didn’t get supported at all. As an entertainer and motivational speaker, there were times when I would have to go to an audition or leave town for a gig. I was constantly pestered and beaten down, verbally and emotionally, about trying to do my dream. There were many auditions that I did NOT go to because she did not support me in my life’s ambitions. I wonder why that relationship didn’t work.

On the other hand, I am now married to a woman who believes in me so much that on days when I am having a hard time (when the gigs aren’t coming in or I’m questioning my abilities) she’s there supporting me every step of the way. There have been times when I feel like I want to quit, but she won’t let me.

That’s true love…that’s true support.

LOVE

I have heard people suggest that if you and your significant other say the words “I love you” too many times to each other that it will get old and you’ll stop believing it.

I say that the only reason you would stop believing it is if you want to stop believing it.

Here's a little secret that I use when it comes to telling my wife that I love her (I haven’t told her that I do this…although it seems she has figured it out, since she does it back to me all the time). When she tells me that she loves me, I tell her that I love her, too. Only I’ll add something to my reply to make sure she knows I'm not just saying it back...I really mean it. This makes saying sincere and genuine. Something simple like, “I love you, too…soooooo much!!”…or “I love you, too…I am so lucky to have you in my life!!”…or “I love you, too, Baby!!” (pet names are endearing, but if you want to make it especially intimate or meaningful, use their real name instead of the pet name).

That’s just the beginning part of it. Love is more than just words. Love is actions. Love is an attitude. Love is a responsibility.

Love means that you love everything about your significant other...even if he/she likes catsup and you don't.

On our first date, my wife and I went grocery shopping (it wasn’t a planned date, but it happened all the same). When she bought catsup, it almost ended our future together…(just kidding)!! I am NOT a catsup guy!! The thing is, I AM a mayonnaise guy and she is NOT a mayonnaise girl. We really differ on our condiments. But I’m glad that I looked past that thick, red, gooey, nasty stuff and kept dating her anyway, because the best thing that I ever did in my life was marry her!! And now, the condiment situation is a source of fun and humor to us, which makes us love each other even more!!

Love is the one ingredient that makes the support, acceptance, and protection stick together. People who do not truly love their spouse/partner/significant other will try and fudge on the rest of the SLAP qualities. But it won’t work…because if you don’t love them, the rest is just…*poof*…”air”…

One of the big problems with relationships after the infatuation runs it's course and turns into a deeper kind of love, is that "sometimes," the deeper kind of love is a love for someone's "potential" and not necessarily for the actual "someone." This causes the person who SEES the potential to try to force (whether consciously or unconsciously, whether subtly or aggressively) the other person to live up to that standard. It also causes the person who is being forced, to question the love of the one who is trying to change them.

"Don't they love me for who I am?"

Not a good example of acceptance. And, if you don't mind my saying, that isn't really love, either.

Music is important in my life. Sometimes I am moved by the way a song has been orchestrated, or how the lyrics and harmonies interact with each other. Sometimes it even makes me cry.

I once dated a woman who got jealous of a song I was listening to…a song that got me emotional…she wanted to be the only one to make me feel anything…and the tighter her grip got on me…the more I wanted to escape.

On the other hand, my wife loves the fact that I love people. She sees me make people laugh, she sees me hug other people, she sees me make other people’s lives better, she sees me get emotional about a song…and she accepts that about me…she adores that about me. I get to be me and I love her for that…and because she doesn’t have a suffocating grip on me, I’m more dedicated to her than I ever have been to anyone in my life!! I accept her, too and she knows it!!

We all have our own little foibles, our own mistakes, our own faux pas, our own imperfections, and our own idiosyncrasies (I call them “idiot”-sycrasies) that we have to deal with. It is much harder to deal with them when your significant other is pointing them out to you all the time and making you feel worse about yourself. If you really love your spouse, you won’t bring those things up. Just ACCEPT them for who they are!!

On top of that, when you love someone, you will WANT to be the best person you can be FOR them. And when that is the case, you will change YOURSELF for the better without being forced to do it!

PROTECT

When I first started advocating the SLAP method, I had a different “P” word which I used...Promote. But when my sister told me that she wanted to add the word “PROTECT” to the acronym…to making it SLAP, I just decided to replace “promote” with “protect.” I did this for 3 reasons; 1) "Promote” can be categorized in with the “support” section; 2) “Protect” is more powerful and more needed in today’s society and 3) I would rather tell people to SLAP their partners than to SLAPP them…it might not have the same impact!!

Needless to say, I can tell you that today’s couples are fighting a losing battle against the morés of our culture. Marriage is being treated with disdain, fidelity is being treated as a joke, and families are becoming extinct. Now, more than ever, we need to protect each other from the obstacles and interferences that attack us constantly.

I was acquainted with a certain couple. The husband had some friends who would always belittle and beleaguer his wife in front of him…and he never came to her rescue. It was baffling to me...and to her. He never protected her. They are no longer together. He is kicking himself and wondering why their marriage didn’t work. He wants her back and she won’t have him. He did NOT protect her.

Of course you know that the “protection” issue was only one of the concerns involved in their separation, but it was a big one to the wife.

If you really love someone, you’ll protect them from physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological harm (and any other harm that there may be). It’s a big order, but it is what completes that SLAP!!

And I'll promote that notion to the end of my days!!

One last thing...SLAP is not ONLY intended for your partner/spouse/significant other, etc.,...you should SLAP every person you come in contact with.

If everybody in the world would do that, there would be no war, or hunger, or hatred!

And if you disagree, I'll SLAP you silly!!

How to be a Superhero

🦸We are seeing a lot of movies, lately, about super heroes. Superman started it all and since then we’ve been bombarded with everything from Spiderman and Batman to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Underdog. I used to watch the Saturday morning television cartoon version of Spiderman when I was a kid…and yes, I was influenced by it. I always wanted to have a super alter ego where I would put on a mask and my voice would get deeper.

I knew that there weren't REAL super heroes, but it was a nice little fantasy that I, and most kids, could indulge themselves in…

And then I started realizing that there ARE Super Heroes in real life…

...and you could be one of them.

What are some of the characteristics of a Super Hero? Super X-Ray Vision, Super Hearing, and Superhuman Strength are just a few of the traits. It started occurring to me that I knew people who fit in these categories.

For example…Coach Scott had X-Ray Vision.

When I played little league baseball, I was the child that the "athletic" kids picked on, not because I was wimpy or puny or un-athletic…no. They bullied me because I was a "goody-goody." That's what they called me, a "goody-goody!" I wouldn’t stray from my moral beliefs…I wouldn’t swear or look at indecent pictures or even hang around if they were telling dirty jokes. Their incessant teasing got to me.

I was a really good baseball player, but the bullies kept telling me that I couldn't run as fast as them, or hit as well as them, or field the ball as well as them. I started believing what they were saying. Then one day we were playing an important baseball game and it was the classic bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two outs and the game was tied. Coach Scott used his X-Ray vision and looked inside of me. He knew there was an excellent baseball player within me and he put me up as a pinch hitter at this significant part of the game. He believed in me…he made me believe in me.

(Side Note: I am NOT a home-run hitter when it comes to baseball, however, I AM a superb base hitter. I can determine where I’m going to hit the ball...as long as it isn’t over the fence.) I hit the ball over the pitcher’s head so that it dropped into the shallow center field area. There was no way that they could get to it in time. Our runner scored and I was the hero of the game.

But the truth is, I was not really the hero of the game. The real hero, the one with the Super X-Ray Vision was Coach Scott. He was, and still IS, a Super Hero!!

Do YOU have the Super Power of X-Ray Vision? Can you look into somebody and see his or her real worth? If you can, then you are on your way to becoming a Super Hero.

Another Super Hero was Miss McCauley…my fifth grade teacher: She had Super Hearing.

Again with the kids teasing me…there would be times when I would come in from lunch or recess either nearing tears or already in “sob” mode…(I’m very tender-hearted). Miss McCauley took me aside one day and had me pour out my soul to her about what was going on. I didn’t think anything would come of it because I thought she was just letting me vent…I was wrong. She listened to me with her Super Hearing. She confronted the kids that were teasing me and she made sure my life was much better after that…she saved me with her Super Powers.

(Side Note: The kids who were picking on me weren’t without their own sets of problems. One of the things that made her so super is that she listened to ALL of us and she used her Super Hearing to help improve EACH of our lives. She was the teacher that cared SO much that sent us all birthday cards until our 21st birthdays). She was, and still IS, a Super Hero.

Now let’s talk about a 5 year old with Super Human Strength…Melissa:

I was 8 years old and I was riding my bike down the sidewalk. All of a sudden, Melissa was right in front of me…I hadn't seen her and she hadn’t seen me until it was too late. I tried to swerve to the right, at the same time she tried to jump to her left…oops, same direction. I tried to swerve to the left while she tried to jump out of the way to her right…again, the same direction. I hit her with my bike. I felt sooooooo bad. I got off of my bike and helped her up, she was O.K…. just a couple of scrapes and possibly some future bruising. I told her how sorry I was. She said it was all right. She forgave me right then and there.

(Side Note: I have seen this scenario before with other kids…even adults. Most of the time, the person who is hit starts crying [I’m sure that would be me] or yelling about retribution. But in very few instances have I seen someone instantly forgive the person who hit them...whether it was on purpose or not). Even at 5 years old, Melissa became a Super Hero to me because of her Super Human strength, for, you see, it takes Super Human Strength to forgive.

Isn’t it amazing that I remember that story? That happened over 50 years ago, but it is still strong in my memory because Melissa was, and still IS, a Super Hero.

So it doesn't matter how old you are, what gender or race you are...you CAN be a Super Hero. I know many other Super Heroes with other Super Powers. I'll probably write more stories about them in the future.

Until then, I have to go save the world…”Up, up and away…”

How, and Why, to Hug

🤗The other day, I was at my insurance agent’s office. I was standing in the lobby waiting for my turn to meet with her. Suddenly, a woman walked in the building, scurried past me, and told me she just needed to do something real quickly. She walked into the office of the agent and gave her a big hug.

While they were hugging, I told them that I was next. After they were done with their hug, the lady who was from off the street turned to me and told me that the agent was a special person and not just anybody could hug her.

I promptly replied that I wasn’t referring to the agent. When the woman realized I was referring to HER, she, as pleased as punch, came and gave me a big hug, too. It was an excellent exchange! (By the way, AFTER the woman left, I hugged the agent, too).

I have been told, MANY times in my life, that I am a great hugger. I love to hug. There is a natural, soothing, healing effect to hugs. Truly, hugs are used in therapy for healing, both mentally and physically. There is a drug that is released into your body when you hug that makes you feel needed, compassionate, and happy and full of pizzazz.

It is sad, to me, that there are people out there who do not like to hug. If you come across a person like this, do NOT force a hug upon them. That is who they are. Even though it has been proven that hugs lower blood pressure, calm high heart rates, and increase comfort levels, if the person is not ready for a hug, we should respect their space.

I once dated a woman who told me, “Now that we are in a relationship, you can never hug anybody else again.” She was referring to ANY BODY, I wasn’t going to be allowed to hug family, friends, men, women, children, or strangers. I was only allowed to hug her...that relationship did NOT last. It was sad, really.

Hugs are supposed to be happy things. Make them count in your life!

Here are some things to remember while you are hugging to make the experience even better:

Say Something/Don’t Say Something - Though a contradiction in statements, this is one time that YOU have to decide whether to say something or not. There is closeness and connection in hugs where nothing is said. But there are times when you can say something that is only meant for you two alone...and the hug is the best time to deliver that message.
Do a Heart Hug - A heart hug is when you hug with your heads to the right of each other. When you do this, your hearts are the closest to each other than at any other time. However, for some reason, a majority of the population shies away from heart hugs. It may be too intimate for some. But you should try it sometime. Heart hugs are extra special.
Personalize Your Hugs - There are individuals who I do specific kinds of hugs with. For example, I have a friend who is much shorter than me and every time I hug her, I kiss the top of her head, make loud kissing sounds, then make a “POP” sound and a little jerking motion as if my lips were stuck to the top of her head and I had to pry myself away. She loves my hugs and now if I forget to hug her that way, I GET REMINDED!!Another friend of mine recently lost his wife to cancer. Even before he lost her, our hugs were meaningful and poignant. He has a huge heart and I love him dearly. After his wife passed away, our hugs have even more emotion and essence. He tells me that my hugs are healing to him and I, myself, feel healed from HIS hugs.

Other ways you can personalize a hug is add your own personal saying, pick up the person, or add a dip into the mix.

Oh, another thing...if the person is a GREAT HUGGER, tell them! It brightens the day for both of you!

Hugs can be fun, they can be emotional, they can be special, they can be friendly, and they can be romantic.

But whatever the type, HUGS. BREED. HAPPINESS. AND.. P:IZZAZZ!!

And that’s what it’s all about anyways, right?

RIGHT!

The Curse of Prince Charming

👑The Curse of Prince Charming is a hard one to bear.

Not that I am a prince...(though sometimes people refer to me as Prince “S.”...[it’s a good thing I’m secure in my masculinity]), but I often feel that I AM royalty because of my upbringing.

Parents who loved me and made sure I never wanted for anything.

Also, I come from the belief that we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us...and since He is the Heavenly King, how much more royal can we get?

My mother taught all of her boys how to be gentlemen, how to have good manners, and how to treat women correctly.

In essence, she taught us how to be “charming.”

I can honestly say that all of the boys in my family are charming...and oftentimes, it is a CURSE!! Out of the 5 boys in my family, all but one have been married more than once.

Why?

Because we are charming!

We treat people around us kindly, we laugh and joke with them, we compliment them, we make them feel happy and good about themselves!

Charming, right?

So why does that bite us in the bud when it comes to the marriages?

Because we have had spouses that have not understood that we like to make the world a better place one person at a time...using our charm.

In my case, I had two spouses who wanted my charm to end with them. If they saw me being charming to other people (not just women...but men and children, too), they would get jealous and resentful and mean and bitter and homicidal (not kidding...one wife came at me with a hammer)...

Why couldn’t they let me be who I am, knowing that they were still the most important person in my life (at the time...until they blew it)?

I know my brothers feel the same way too!

Jealousy IS the curse of Prince Charming.

I honestly believe that when you have found the right person to share your life with, you CAN live happily ever after...and that is the BLESSING of Prince Charming.

But when jealousy rears it’s ugly head, or envy (I say that because I have been in relationships where they weren’t jealous of my being charming, but they were sad because THEY didn’t have it...or so they thought...~sigh~...
...I always felt charmed when I chose to spend time with someone, otherwise I wouldn’t have been attracted to them in the first place), or spite; then Prince Charming (me) doesn’t have a chance!

I will not apologize for being charming! If there were more charming people in the world today, it would be a much nicer place...and you ALL know that to be true!

So don’t hate the charm or the charmer!!

By the way...you are looking mighty fabulous today!!

Have a wonderful day!

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